Definitions

Precursory note: footnotes are your friend.

Today has been a day fully afflicted with a large dose of snark1. From beginning to end, I have been in basically a non-stop bitchtastic mood; woe be to those who have annoyed2 me in any way. I have not been a shining beacon of progress when it comes to controlling my own aggression as I have been taking it out on everyone that I have come in contact with. I feel completely unapologetic about this.

You see, today began with the unfamiliar sound of my new cell phone3  alerting me to a four text long message from a boy whom I despise. I believe that I have mentioned him before--not too long ago, I insulted him very publicly on the internet and he threatened to kill himself--but seeing as he is not an important person in my life, I don’t think I’ve created an acronym for him, which is fine, because he is not worth it.

The message was an accusation of my dear buddy Licia and I for creating a hate website dedicated to him.

This accusation was about nine kinds4 of absurd, and here is why:

-Both Licia and I lack the tech savvy to create a web page that is anything but a Wordpress or something.

-If we did create and maintain a website of our own volition, it wouldn’t be dedicated to someone so undeserving of our time or effort.

-She and I laugh about how much we hate this guy all of the time; we don’t need a website to do that. We generally do not include anyone but each other in these conversations.

-If Licia and I truly wanted to humiliate, rant about, and/or make a public mockery of this guy, than we would do so in a way that would be much more damaging than a simple website. She and I make a dangerously devious team.

In short, this guy should not flatter himself. The amount of stupidity behind his accusation was phenomenally high. End result: very irritated Julia, very early in the morning.

The snark levels5 only rose as the day went on. I have been very road rage-y, very loud, and very vicious in my remarks to people. The only person who was spared my bitchtastic wrath was Technicolor Boy... not that he should have been.

I have noticed that whenever I am around him, the normal, loud, opinionated part of brain forcibly quiets itself so as not to frighten or anger him, nor incriminate or embarrass me. Even if he says something that I disagree with, I suddenly begin to suffer from a severe case of short term tongue paralysis, and say nothing.

This is becoming a problem.

There are a great deal of things that I wanted to say to Technicolor Boy today, but my tongue held itself and rendered me silently passive. I am disgusted at myself. Being silently passive is one of the most detestable6 things that a person can ever be.

I wanted to tell him that I was angry that he came home an hour later than when he told me to be at his house, and that it was terribly boring and awkward for me to have to wait. I wanted to tell him that he was being unnecessarily pissy and that it was neither excusable nor appreciated. I wanted to tell him that he was being selfish by not even asking about my day after I listened to him vent about his. I wanted to tell him that his fucking cat is not just an adorable cat, but the last tangible vestige of his failed relationship, and that he was not giving love and affection to a feline, but that he was giving love and affection to the memory of his ex-girlfriend so that he wouldn’t have to risk the possibility of giving his love and affection to anyone else7 and not getting a return on it.

I wanted to say all of these things, but I refrained.

Ultimately, I am reaching the inevitable fork in the road with him. It has been about four months of shenanigans. I know that I only have about a year left in the state before I leave for college, and I need to know if I should spend it with him, or if I should look elsewhere for stability. The time has come to DTR8. I need to know if he is a lost cause or not.

I am simply incredibly annoyed at the state of things right now. I am not a fan of being accused of something not only juvenile but ridiculous. I hate idiotic drivers, people who are slow on the uptake during conversation, and people who cannot handle when someone else is mean to them. Worst of all, I am beginning to question if the time and effort I have put into being around Technicolor Boy have gone to waste.

The only good thing that happened today was that some Gregorian9 guy in a suit gave me a trendy-looking miniature New Testament, which is now sitting in my car’s glove box. I don’t know why this is a good thing, I’m not a fan of the New Testament, but having read it before, I suppose that I now have some emergency reading material. I think what really made this the highlight of my day was the fact that someone was actually giving something to me and expected nothing in return.

The fact that the best part of my day was receiving a bible from a missionary who probably doesn’t even remember my face says a lot about my day10.

Tomorrow, please be better.


Julia

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Footnotes
1. A sharpness or slight anger
2. Spoken, looked at, or gotten in the way of
3. Possibly the most glorious electronic device ever to grace me with its presence. RIP to its predecessor
4. More than nine kinds
5. Levels of snark
6. And pathetic, not to mention weak
7. As in, me
8. A pop culture acronym whose letters stand for "define the relationship"
9. Some kind of Christian
10. Namely, that it was complete and utter shit