Southern Accents

I had a spontaneously energetic Saturday.

Now and I went to see True Grit today, which was a rather awesome movie. The young girl was supa flyyy. Now definitely lacks the moves though. I found it a little funny, which is probably cruel, but he totally lacks the moves that one makes when wathing a good movie with their girlfriend. I mean, gold star for effort and all, but damn... the kid needs a lesson in smoothness.

He makes me happy He makes me happy He makes me happy He makes me happy He makes me happy. I just have to remember he makes me happy.

I'm starting to get into that stupid place in my mind where I'm beginning to get bored with him, and now is the time when I'm liable to begin doing stupid things. Stupid, slutty, cheatery things. Mustn't do those things, Julia.

Anyway, tonight was my final performance of Oklahoma, and I think it was the best one out of all of them. We had a huge audience, and everyone just had a lot of fun, and I got a cookie afterwards.

The conclusion to my day is basically that I'm exhausted, but my Nyqil hasn't kicked in yet, and I'm thinking in a southern accent because all of the dialogue I've heard today has been spoken in a southern accent. Dear God. Southern accents are nice and all, but jeez... too much southerniness today.

Oh dear, Julia, something interesting needs to happen to you so that this blog will get good again. Yes, I know. Sorry guys. Life ain't too interesting when you have mono :/



Yeoww! (the sound the scriptwriter of Oklahoma thought cowboys make)
Julia

Dear Lucy,

Oh darling, you are ever so lucky that I am skilled in the art of holding one's tongue, because if I weren't so disciplined, I may have let slip this rather well-worded and scathing response to your comments pertaining to the touchy subject we discussed earlier this evening and your responses and reactions thereupon.

First of all, I must scorn your ability to change subjects during conversation, and congradulate you due to the fact that you managed to turn a very nice, calm dialogue into a political deliberation. Claps for you. I must further commend your complete closed-mindedness, attention-seeking tactics, and frank fear of any perspective that offers an opposition to what was told to you in church. Nice.

But honey, I have to say, what really blew me away is that you thought it would be a good idea to bring up the subject of abortion during a conversation with me. You should know better! Yes Lucy, you should know not to bring up volatile political topics when speaking to the most opinionated liberal in the state. It's a self-preservation instinct, babe.

Luckily for you, I'm sick and not particularly inclined to wage verbal warfare upon your sorry, prude ass. However, my darling Lucy, the next time you speak so ignorantly about a subject that is wholly relevant to you, yes you, I will not be so merciful. In fact, if you ever take a stance based upon such shallow bases as you did tonight, not only will I unleash upon you the full extent of my ability to beat you down verbally, but I will flourish at the occasion, and will continue to do so until your run crying to whoever you tend to run and cry to.

Please note that I am generally more modest about my argumentative abilities, and not so bitchy. It's just that your complete stupidity awakened in me the need to kill a small animal-- a category that your demeanor leads me to believe that you fall into. I'm simply being honest, little Lucy. Also note: You have been warned.


Yours ever so tenderly,
Julia

Ain't No Sunshine In The World

*brrrrring*
*brrrrrring*
*brrrr--click*
"Hello?"
"Uh yeah, so this is your doctor, right, and uh, basically, you don't have lymphoma like we thought you did. Woohoo you don't have cancer. Buuuuuut we looked at your blood tests and guess what you do have? This gnarly strain of infectious mononucleosis. Uh yeah so have a nice day."
*click*
...
"FUCK"

And that just about sums up how the end of my week went. I HAVE MONO. Ughhh. And my show opens in 4 days. I'm now in the midst of an epic battle between the 2 sides of myself that are operational right now.

Side 1: The Optimist -- You can push through this!
Side 2: The Pessimist -- You physically cannot do this.

It's pretty intense conflict. I don't want to just throw away all of my hard work that I put into the musical, but at the same time, it takes a considerable amount of effort just to do little things like shower or make a sandwitch. Oh, and I've lost 10 lbs. since Friday. So I'm not exactly healthy, but I don't want all my fucking work to go to waste.
(Few and foreign followers, this is where you offer sage advice and words of encouragement. I'm too sick to think straight enough to work this one out for myself..)

Gahhhh.

In other news, tomorrow is Now's birthday. I bought him a semi-automatic Nerf gun, which I think he'll enjoy, and I made him a mix cd. Now I have to make him a card and I think I'll draw him a pitcure.

Actually, I think I'll take a nap right now... I'm kind of exhausted.


Grmblgrmblgrmbl (the sound a person with mono makes)
Julia

Gunmetal Mediocrity

Seeing as I'm feeling a tad off my rocker this evening, I bring you few and foreign followers an all-over-the-fucking-place post: random observations mixed in with semi-deep aphorisms. This should be interesting...

Firstly and foremostly, I really hate unfaithful lymphnodes. It's like, hello, lymphnode, just do what you're supposed to. No need to swell up or awkardly dislocate yourself. Really.

I realized today that I haven't checked my email in over a month. Usually I get information for work and school on their, but I haven't even logged on in a month. Isn't it weird how methods that were once at the forefront of futuristic communication are forgotten about so easily? Like MySpace. Where did MySpace go?

If you are trying to recover from a cold, don't kiss sick boys on badly-lit high school auditorium stages.

Ok how cool of a band name would "Gunmetal Mediocrity" be?? I think I just like the words "gunmetal" and "mediocrity". One can think of the best band names when they just put words that sound good next to other words that sound good. Guessing the genre of music that such bands might play is another matter...

I got accidentally high this morning. Taking too much Mucinex is rather exciting. History class was too!

Why do choirs always sing songs in other languages? Is it because we are sick of our own, or because sometimes things just sound better in French? I mean, let's be honest, everything sounds better in French.

Pink dresses for fat people disgust me.

My boyfriend knows me really well, he got me a Doctor Who poster for Valentine's Day. Normally, people would expect chocolates or flowers, but my boyfriend knows that I hate getting boquets of flowers because they remind me of dead people. He's the greatest.


Will they ever call your death beautiful?



Zazzzzooooooo (the sound a kazoo makes if you blow into it too hard)
Julia

Hiel-five?

I just sang very loudly for about half an hour to a wall in my basement. I don't know why, but for some reason, singing to no one is like my own personal Prozac. It's a quirky stress-reliever, I don't know. Do you do any weird shit like that when you don't know what else to do?

A few days ago in history class, we had a mock trial where the people in class had to pretend to be dictators and stuff from World War II. I was Hitler. Can you just taste the irony?? I made a little paper mustache and went around asking people for Hiel-fives. Ok, I thought it was funny.

Can I just say that I love the way that black people talk. I really do! I have been watching old Def Comedy Jam episodes on YouTube, and now, I want to be black. That's weird Julia. I know, I know.

In other news, insecurity is bullshit, and apparently Valentine's day is part of a Capitalist agenda.

Nanananowww (the sound an electric guitar makes)
Julia

Juxtaposition

I'm in my school's musical, which is "Oklahoma!" and I'm playing Ado Annie, which is the slutty yet loveable character (type-cast much?). Unfortunately, this role requires me to kiss not one, but two guys on stage (which bothers me, yes, but it's not as scary as one might think).

One of the guys I have to kiss is Phillipino, but everyone thinks he's Mexican. We were talking today in class about how ignorant people come to him and ask him what he is, like he's an ice cream flavor or something. I mean, rude! And he said the most common guesses are "so are you like, Chinese or Mexican?" and apparently getting mistaken for a Latin American makes him very frustrated. He said he just wants to get a tattoo that says "I'm not Mexican, dammit!"

We're buddies. Awkward buddies, but buddies.

Ok, so I'm about to impart some theater kid drama (ba dump chhh... but seriously).

I have this theory that Phillipino Guy is starting to get a thing for the girl who's Ado Annie in Cast B (the show is double-cast, so each role has two actors, and we alternate performance nights, get it?). Unfortunately, she has a thing for a guy in her cast, which has been this long-standing thing that I won't go into. Anyway, I think Phillipino Guy is really starting to like her.

I really want to take him aside and say "Look, I'm sorry I'm not her, but I'm the one you're cast with, so can we please just be professional and do what we need to do? Ok?"

What really gets to me is how much people compare me to her. I feel like there's an unspoken competition between us, not because we're opposite casts or anything, but because we look so much alike, people expect us to be alike. I feel like she's a better version of me, and it's weird.

She's two inches taller, two inches skinnier, has blue eyes, not hazel, has clear skin, has thin hair that doesn't require a straightening iron, dresses really well and can sing like an angel. I'm not an un-confident person, I just feel like in everything superficial, she's just that much better than me and everyone knows it. It's very frustrating.

Personality wise, we're complete opposites. I feel like even though I'm a year younger, I'm the more mature one. She's innocent, and shy, but still manages to be outgoing, and she never swears. She LOVES Jesus, and takes her church more seriously than anything. She's family-oriented, and giggly, and is a good student. She's friends with everyone. She flirts constantly with everyone, and I don't think she realizes how much it works. But then again, I know other girls like that... and I'm not making her up, she's like a saint, even though she's constantly freaking out that she's a slut.

And then there's me. I swear like a sailor, I'm awkward, and judgemental, and Jewish. I'm so incredibly cynnical all the time. I never turn to God. I isolate myself from my disfunctional family. I'm not a straight A student, infact, I'm failing math. I'm friendly to everyone, that is unless they give me reason not to be, but I'm not straight up buddies with the entire school. I've snuck out on schoolnights to go get drunk and have sex. And she worries that she's a slut!

The thing is, she wears her heart on her sleeve. She's cried in front of me numerous times, and you can read her like an open book with self-turning pages. She's so naïve all the time, and so open, and honest. So emotionally fragile. And then there's me: so emotionally in-check that even my best friends haven't seen me cry. I know so much about everyone, and can lie like I can breathe; effortlessly. I'm emotionally stronger than almost anyone I know.

But around this girl, I feel like the evil twin, the one the parents love just a little less. I feel like everyone compares me to her saintness and expects me to top it because I'm younger. I don't even know how that makes me feel.

It twists me up. I don't want to be better than her, but I don't want to be pitied. She's this amazing person, and she tries really hard, but succeeds at everything that she doesn't even realize she does. It's very frustrating to watch someone be so perfect.


Sigh, and now comes the part where I reassure myself and talk about how I'm so fucking special in my own fucking special way. And I tell myself that I shouldn't get worked up over a Phillipino-not-Mexican boy who'd rather kiss someone who's not me, because let's face it, I'm not too keen on having to kiss him.

Buuuuuut it's frustrating.
OK, sorry, this kind of turned into a gut-spill. That doesn't happen too often. We here at I WISH I WERE BRITISH offer out sincerest apologies for the extendedness of this post, it kind of got away from us.


Gjuggjugjug (the sound those island drums make)
Julia

A New-Found Appreciation For Pizza

It must be said that while I am the least picky eater I know, I have (over the years) developed the finely seasoned pallette of a frat boy. I can live for days on ramen, easy mac, and frozen burritos. But no food, no dish, no culinary combonation can conquer the triumphant and pure satisfaction one gains from the consumption of a good slice of pizza. Nothing compares to classic cheese pizza.

WHY THE FUCK HAVE I NOT HAD A DECENT SLICE OF PIZZA IN OVER A MONTH??
This is the true meaning of unacceptable. Someone direct me towards a good goddamn pizza before I die!

Pizza cravings aside, life is eventful. School may cause my sudden demise due to cardiac arrest, and if that doesn't this musical I seem to be a lead in might. But enough complaining, life is eventful, and eventful is good.

Now-not-Ex has given me a bunch of CDs to rip, and even I find his taste in music wholly obscure. However he introduced me to the band Sleigh Bells, and I think I'm in love. I've also been digging the National and Vitamin String Quartet, but Now-not-Ex finds them too main stream. Whatevsies. We actually got into a pretty militant argument over who is better: Phoenix or Weezer. I said Weezer, but Phoenix is a very close second. He said Deerhunter is cooler than both of them.

I love that boy so much it's ridiculous.

Recently we've been having snow days. This week we had two in a row due to subzero temps and such, and well having a middle-of-the-week-end (hahaha, get it??) has been lovely. It's weird because usually the district people make us go to school in blizzards and hail and shit, so getting cut some slack is really nice.

Brownchickenbrowncowww (the sound a sexy farm makes)
Julia

PS: Sorry Brit buddies, but I don't think you'll really get the jokw in the onomotopoea if you haven't seen those old American Tag body spray commercials...

I Had A Blog Once

I won't tell you the exact amount of time it's been since I posted, because well, you're scrolling down to check the date of the last post so that you can calculate that information for yourself.

I'm not going to tell you how much it really sucks to be sick and still have to go to debate tournaments, or just how obnoxious it is to have to blog from one's phone because one's internet is faulty and somewhat retarded.

I'm not going to give you the details about Now-not-Ex becase honestly, they're just not that interesting.

I'm not going to apologize for my lack of posting lately, because I've been busy as hell.

I don't know when I'll post again, maybe when life gets interesting again?


Julia