Kiss Today Goodbye

And point me towards tomorrow...
Yes, only a lyric from A Chorus Line could describe the way that I feel right now.

I just hung out with Wsb for the last time. I mean, he comes back for Christmas in a few months, but who knows if we'll still be friends by then. It honestly feels like I'm never going to see him again, like the end of an era.

I feel like it's a pretty solid ending, talking in the park by his house at two in the morning, not high, not lusting after each other, just talking really deeply.

I was finally able to discuss the situation with him, and I can see his side a little clearer now. Not enough to not be hurt, but enough to find closure for myself. And I finally got him to realize just how badly he fucked up when I mentioned the one person who had found out about it who I knew he couldn't simply write off: his ex girlfriend. (technically, ex fiance)

Once I mentioned that she knew, I think it finally hit him that he had actually fucked up. And I didn't mean to do it in a vengeful way; that ship has sailed. I mentioned it because I knew it would be the one thing that would push him over the edge and make him learn something from this whole fucked up situation.

And we discussed life and each other and Fsb and everything, and now I'm ready for him to leave, as in I'm not going to freak out and pine after him.

Just as we were walking to his car, he put his arm around me and pulled me close, saying quietly "Thanks, Jules."
I said "For what?"
He just smiled and whispered "For talking."

Tonight was a good end point for this crazy whirlwind romance.
I know I'll never forget it.
Julia