Oh lord, I am in trouble. I am in trouble trouble trouble trouble trouble!
Maybe it was an act of spite, maybe I just enjoy bringing shenanigans upon myself (let's be honest, it was both), but I've begun talking to Wsb's ex best friend. You know, the one whose girlfriend he slept with?
We'll call him Fiestyskaterboy. He's the one who told me about Wsb and his girlfriend... He and Wsb used to be tighter than tight, but are basically sworn enemies now, although it's a very quiet hostility between them. But Fsb and I are both pretty angry at Wsb and Fsb's girlfriend. We've been discussing the matter among other things, and now I'm bonding with him over it.
I am determined not to do anything stupid, like sleep with him, because I know he still really loves his girlfriend (although they've had years of various issues of their own) and I know I still like Wsb... But this whole mess is providing a way for he and I to become better friends, which I suppose could be constituted as some sort of silver-lining to this dark cloud of infidelity.
But, my fraternization with Fsb is not the only thing I've been doing in spite of Wsb.
I have begun talking more and more to Aeb as well, and I know he wants to start hanging out. I am pretty sure that Aeb has a thing for me.
On top of that, I've hung out with Wsb since I found out about everything, and he doesn't seem to realize that he's done wrong. I'm quietly going along with it, because I have no grounds upon which to confront him. It's not like we're dating. There was no official commitment, so he technically didn't cheat. It just feels like it.
I don't even know where I stand with him anymore. I don't know if we're friends or fuck buddies or unlabeled dating or what. It's all very confusing. I don't know what I'm going to do when he leaves for school next week. Shall I cry and miss him terribly, like my heart says? Or bid him good riddance, like my head says?
And I know that it's terribly hypocritical to spite Wsb's actions by talking to other guys, but it just feels so satisfying to know that he's not the only one with other options. I'm honestly hoping to resolve this shit and get back to the way things were, but I don't know if that's even possible at this point.
With all this juggling, I know someone is going to have to get dropped. In fact, two people are going to have to exit the mix, but the question is, who?
Do I kick out Fsb, who is not the nicest guy, but who shares an understanding for the complete betrayal that has been heaped upon both of us? What about Aeb, who is trying really hard, and has potential, but I just don't know if he can handle me? Or do I drop Wsb, who, aside from the past few days, has been amazing and has completely changed my summer.
What do I do? Which boy do I keep?
Good lord!
Julia
Pick either Fsb or Aeb, but no way in hell go back to Wsb.
ReplyDeleteI mean, he's leaving anyway, right? And what if you guys really WERE “officially dating” and he did the same thing? I don't know, I'm getting bad vibes about him – but maybe that's just me.
If all of this doesn't work, tell them to joust for you. That should do it.
Pick nobody! Wait for one of them to step up to the plate, after all I was under the impression it was the man's prerogative to make the move. By the sounds of it, you have no shortage of options and you're in no rush, so maybe wait and see which one really makes the effort to sweep you off your feet.
ReplyDeleteHOWEVER, I won't deny that Eeshie's jousting idea sounds much more fun. x
Hello Julia (:
ReplyDeleteI don't think you'll remember me but you used to follow my old blog (a life of filter coffee and dreaming) last year. I just wanted to say that even after all this time your blog is as brilliant as ever! Lots of love xx
PS: I agree with Luke, wait a while and see what happens! :)
Hey Laura!
ReplyDeleteof course I remember you :)