It's been one of those days. One of those constantly frustrating, never ending, oh-dear-Lord-why-am-I-putting-up with-this-shit days. I'm not going to lie. I'm incredibly angry. At nothing, which is stupid, I know, but I can't help myself. I tried listening to music, I tried just lying on my bed and staring at the ceiling and breathing, I tried watching TV, and going to work, and nothing is helping.
I hate everything right now. I don't even have a good reason, I just do. But if you talked to me right now, I'd seem fine, because I'm just that good at bottling the shit up. I don't get visibly emotional, like, ever. But make no mistake. I'm in a baby-punching mood right now. My life has evaporated into schoolwork and bullshit and commitments to things I have no passion for anymore.
I'm in a dangerous state of mind right now. I fear nothing and I'm too willing to take risks just to piss people off because when I wind people up there's this twisted, liberated feel I get from it. And I'm so disconnected from my life, I honestly don't care. I'm past the point of emotional breakdowns involving vodka and razor blades, I'm into the phase of dropping an E and riding a train to Kentucky just to see what would happen.
blahh. Blogger, I don't know why I'm telling you all of this.
No comments:
Post a Comment