Clusterfuck!

Well, happy New Year. I'm going to state the obvious now: it's 2011. Holy Shit. where did 2010 go?
As promised, bad decisions were made, and a hell of a lot of drinking happened. But hey, it was New Years! So here's the epic tale:

My night involved a lot of craziness with my friend, Auburn (I'm adding to my hair-color collection of friend names :P I've got Blonde, Brunette, and now Auburn pahaha) we initially went to this club in Boulder, but it was much lamer than expected and full of boys who couldn't dance, so we left.

It was on the bus home that she and I orchestrated our next adventure, by calling our buddy and promising to bring alcohol if he would come pick us up. Which we did. My parents never drink, so I had a jug of unopened vodka that they didn't even notice was gone. We ended up at this kid's house with me, driving friend, random kid, and Christian Debate Boy, whom I know from the debate team. It was nerdy, but it was a party :)

After a few shots, Auburn ended up with driving friend, and I with Cdb, random kid was all into his videogames. Gratuitous drunk kissing insues with both couples (seperately, you pervs) but Cdb and I end up talking a lot too. Alas, by this time it is 3am and driving friend must drive Auburn and I home, so home we go, where we both crash like miniature Hindenbergs. My cell phone, like Cinderella's glass shoe, was left at random kid's house.

And here's where the story gets interesting:
We wake up the next morning and both contemplate the night before. We can both agree that the club in Boulder was ridiculously lame. We can also both agree that we are now incredibly hung over. But Auburn was content with her New Year's hookup, leaving things at that. I, on the other hand, woke up (get this) missing Cdb.

When we were talking last night, I was getting some "I like you" vibes from him. And I'm pretty sure I was returning them. But I thought it was just the vodka coursing through my system. So here I am thuroughly confused, and it's now that I realize that I left my phone at that house. I called it and talked to driving friend about returning it to me, and then I tried to ask Cdb how he wanted to regard last night. He gives me no answer, because I'm guessing he's just as thrown as I am.

So, after Auburn leaves for work, I go back to sleep because what else is there to do while I wait for the delivery of my phone. I awake to a doorbell, and open my front door expecting to see driving friend, but it's Cdb. With my phone. Looking like he has something to say. I take my phone, thank him, and say goodbye, because my front door would not be the best place to dicuss the night. Plus I'm not wearing any make up and don't want him to look at me for a prolonged amount of time.

Hours pass aaaaaaaand he texts me. It is at this point where the unthinkable revelation happens: I realize that I like him. He's not Ex, he's not Mwb, he's different... and I like him. I've known him for about a year or so, so it's not that ridiculous of a notion... but something tells me I'm just over-analyzing a hookup.

But what kind of hookup results in missing the guy? That never happens with me, I'm usually a hit em/quit em type of gal. Not to sound slutty or anything. But I am most taken aback by how much I've been thinking about Cdb and our conversation last night.

So that's that, possibly potential. And it is now that I have my first big-time judgement lapse of the year and I send the letter to Ex. I mean, the irony would just be fucking cosmic if he says he wants to get back in touch right as I finally have a perspective guy. Irony like that is just too good to waste.

Although, looking back to a few minutes ago when I sent it, it probably wasn't a good idea because now I am a legitimate risk of cardiac arrest. Not only am I freaking out about how Ex will react to the letter, but I am also in the throws of a long-forgotten ailment: the he likes me/ he likes me not seizures that occur with the introduction of a new guy into one's romantic interests.

So basically, I'm starting off the year with a romantic clusterfuck. Wouldn't have it any other way :)


Bang Pop! (the sound my heart is going to make when it explodes)
Julia