Tradition, Tradition!

(you have to think of the title being sung like in Fiddler on the Roof)
((it's funny because this post is about Jew stuff, just wait, you'll see))

SO.
I have spent the past two days sleeping. I am not even kidding. I stayed home from school  and slept until 4 pm. I do not know why I did this, because I was fine on Wednesday and I feel fine today, but yesterday and the day before I have been in a mono-zombie like state of sleep-nnnnnnghh-water-sleep.

I think I was fighting off a virus or something. I don't know. Anyway.

To my fellow Jews, Happy Pesach! To my non-Jews, Passover started last night.

In celebration of the start of this most joyous of holidays (and by joyous, I mean lovely for only the first like, three days) my family had a nice little seder. Note to my non-Jews: A seder is the ritual meal that we eat at least once during Passover. There's a fancy plate and awkward food like parsley and the whole thing is accompanied by a little DIY religious service.


For my family seders, every year we use this hilariously patriotic Cold War era haggadah (mini prayer book) that was written like, half a decade after WWII and Israel became a state. It's full of these throwbacks to American freedom and shit because the part of Exodus that Passover is about is very similar to Israeli independence. Not. Still, best haggadah ever.

Now, during a traditional seder, throughout the haggadah, you have to drink four glasses of wine. It's required. Usually, people just take sips or only pour a small amount into their glasses. That way they can remain cogent throughout the service and make it through the customary two glasses of wine with dinner.

But, see, I have a long-standing tradition: at one seder every year, it is my obligation, nay, my duty to get absolutely hammered on shitty kosher wine.

Usually, I save myself for the community seder, because it is dreadfully  boring otherwise, but this year, we weren't going to go to it anyway, so my only opportunity to uphold my tradition was at my family's seder.

Before you cringe,  realize that my parents and the few, close friends that attended were already planning to get hammered as well. There were like, six bottles of wine on the table. Not my fault.

We all had quite a lovely evening and it only got better as time progressed. I had an ungodly amount of wine, but my tradition was upheld! Never mind that by the time the seder was over I was about as eloquent as Mitch Hedberg.

Anyway. I really dislike Passover because I am a fan of eating ham and cheese on rye. Also, food that tastes like food. Now that my tradition has been seen through for another year and the one seder I'll be going to has happened, I have nothing to look forward to for the next eight days.

On the bright side, there is leftover matzoh ball soup in the fridge... I may have to go handle that situation :)

Stay tuned for some bitching about kosher food, it's coming.

Jewlia