"Offended" is for Oversensitive People.

It's the little things in life that are obnoxious. I mean, when I get annoyed (which is often) it's never over anything big or significant. It never goes down like "shit, this open-heart surgery is such a nuissance." But I've noticed that the small, insignificant gestures are the ones that tend to stay in my head and gradually sink their tiny teeth into my patience.

Take today for instance. At cheer practice this morning, when we were running choreography which we literally just learned yesterday, the group I was in got chewed out for not looking absolutely awesome by someone who is only 18 and isn't that amazing himself. Afterward, the group standing behind us clapped for him as if he had just given an award-winning speech.
Here's what bothers me:
1) Who the hell is he to tell me that I am "screwing over my team" by not being perfect? (I'd like to note that this was early in the morning, after a mile run, and is the *2nd* day I have even known this choreography)

2) I cannot believe my own teammates clapped for him. That is a slap in the face from people whom I not only respect but try to impress. It twists my insides to know that they think so low of me.

3) I was not the girl to mess up during the time we ran it. I did a decent job doing choreography that I just learned, and yet I got yelled at anyway. I hate getting yelled at for things I didn't do. I know, 'if one of us messes up, the team messes up.' This is a shitty sentiment to be governed by, because that automatically makes the entire team suck if one person misses one beat in an otherwise flawless run.

I am not simply being pissy, and I do in fact know how to take constructive criticism, infact I can take it extremely well. The thing is, the little chew out we got was neither constructive nor nice. There were no good intentions behind it. We were being patronized for the sake of being patronized, and the lack of support from teamates who you'd expect to be slightly supportive or even feel bad was just fucked up. The little gesture of them clapping for someone who had yelled at us was the little thing that's been eating at me all day. I'm sure they didn't think of it as a sign of disrespect, but that little instance made me feel like I don't deserve to be a cheerleader. I am working my ass off trying to impress these people who expect perfection at all times, and no matter how hard I try, I can't seem to be perfect.


Fuck. I know I'm complaining too much. And I know I shouldn't be making excuses. Unfortunately, I'm human, or at least I try to be.