A Indefinitive Delcaration

Well, I've just woken up from sleeping all day and should probably be doing my homework, you know, because I need good grades to get into Harvard. I really am kidding myself with this whole Harvard thing, aren't I? Well, I'm just going to procrastinate a tad further to distract myself from this and its many fellow inherent realities.

On the chill scale, last night's random adventures ranked at around a 6.5 out of 10. I started at Philly's, and was going to go down to Denver with her, then Fsb called. I ditched Philly and went to him, like a good little puppy. Except he was with this other kid and they just wanted to aimlessly hang out. My domestication screwed me.

I angrily ditched Fsb and drove down to Denver to meet back up with Philly. The crew we had was quite fantastic. It was me, Philly, Philly's boy toy, Philly's actual-but-she-won't-admit-it boyfriend (she over-complicates her own love life when she's bored), Dreadlocked Beauty #1, and Dreadlocked Beauty #2 (both female).

I remember there was boxed wine, chain smoking, a trip to the most exciting playground ever, a period of awkward separation where Philly and Dreadlocked Beauty #1 had like, an existential crisis or something and ditched the rest of us, then we all met up again at this 24-hour cafe called Leela's at 4 AM.

Leela's is this glorious restaurant thing where, in the wee hours of the morning, late-night partiers and general weirdos sit around eating good food and drinking coffee and playing chess. It was glorious.

After Leela's, we all went back to Dreadlocked Beauty #1's house to sleep for a few hours.

Woke up at noon and drove home and that was that.

After sleeping all day, I've realized that I have a bit of homework to do before I can return to sleep. It's ok.

Moreover, I have realized in this past week that if I don't get my shit together academically, extracurricularly, and attitude-wise in a big way, I'm not going to even have a chance of achieving any of my future goals for myself. I've been far too relaxed about things that I should really be caring about.

In truth, I'd rather remember my junior year as it was, and not as a giant ball of stress, but it's over half-way through the second semester, and though last semester was good, this semester is possibly the most important one of my entire life. And here I've been, slacking.

I have a small amount of time to pull my grades up and prepare for all the AP tests and finals. I also have to use this time to set myself up for the summer with things to do.

I don't want to turn into one of those IB nerds who spends their entire existence freaking out and trying to be perfect, because that is ridiculous and I will never lose sight of my own personality like that, but I can't allow myself to turn into an apathetic stoner-like kid who stops caring and thereby fucks their own future.

In truth, I have honestly got to find some motivation somewhere, because it's getting really hard to not just throw my life away with bad grades. I need to refocus my energy from boys to school. Do you realize how difficult this is?!?

Gah.

Julia