I cannot do anything productive right now. At all. Seriously.
My functionality has been inhibited by boys, sex, and tacos, in that order.
First, I get this cryptic text from Fsb basically telling me that he never wants to speak to me again. I don't know what I did, but my theory is that he has flung himself back into the toxic wasteland that is being in love with his ex, Qv. Just my theory.
And Technicolor boy hasn't texted me all day, which is freaking me out because he has texted me like, every two hours for the past week.
Shpongle is even acting weird.
All I can think is what did I do?
Have I suddenly become the most undesirable creature in the universe? Did I say the wrong thing or do something gross without realizing it? Why does every guy that I thought had any semblance of interest in me suddenly cutting me off?
And sex. I can't even talk about the sex right now. Ok, I can, but I will spare you all the details. The thing with sex is this: relationships cannot spring from good sex, it only works the other way around. This is a truth which I know, but choose to ignore, but now this fact is inescapable.
And the tacos. Sweet Jesus, I thought that tacos would be my savior! I traveled to the taco sanctuary (Taco Bell) with a buddy and I tried to seek comfort in the beefy, crunchy, calorific deliciousness. I got through like, not even half a taco before deciding that tacos were the worst possible thing I could be eating. Me, who can annihilate six crunchy tacos in a matter of minutes, I could not even eat one.
I mean, shit, even tacos aren't helping my mood.
All I can think is what did I do? What did I do to cause every good thing that last week brought to turn so shitty all of a sudden? What did I do to unbalance the Karma scales?
It is the night before the ACT and the very last thing on my mind is the ACT. I'm already planning on taking it again, so I'm not terribly concerned with how tomorrow goes, but still, I feel like I should do better than a fucking 26 which is what I got on my last practice test. I mean, a 26 is fab if I wanted to go CU or DU or a state university. But I want to go to Harvard, whose admissions board likes a nice 33 or above.
I will get my 33 another time. I can't focus on anything right now, let alone studying for the ACT.
I am too preoccupied with trying to figure out why the Technicolor Boy whom I had such an amazing weekend with (another post, coming soon, when I am less flustered) hasn't texted, IMed, or made any kind of contact with me in over 24 hours and why Fsb is suddenly avoiding me like the plague and why sex is not everything I need to be happy and why tacos aren't helping. What did I do? What did I do to the universe?
I cannot seem to function correctly. At all.
It is just one of those nights.
Julia
:( *hugs*
ReplyDeleteErrthang's gonna be ok.
Just breath deep and focus all of your energy into calming yourself down, and let the universe deal with everything.
Girl, you gotta buckle down and get ready for that ACT! Harvard, and cuter, way less confusing boys await you.
I think you'll do just fine on the ACT. The practice test scores mean virtually nothing - they're too poorly written to be good indicators of the actual test. I got 25's on all of my practice science tests, which scared the shit out of me. On the actual test, however, I got a 36. The same went for every one of my scores. Trust me, if I did well on the ACT, you will too :)
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