My Inner Gay Black Man Is All Kinds Of Hormonal And Pissed Off Right Now

OH GURRRL.

Let me just lay out my list of things which are making me angry today:

1) I just found out that the fucking day I get back from bootcamp, I have to get on a plane to upstate New York. I will not be returning for another ten days.

2) This means that I will have to go almost four weeks straight without sex. 

3) I went to go see Technicolor Boy today, because I am trying to pack in as much time with him as I can before I leave, and he kissed me once. ONCE.

4) Fucking once. A pathetic little peck.

5) DOES HE NOT UNDERSTAND WHAT I AM GOING THROUGH RIGHT NOW?!

6)  I can't even complain about going to NY because my parents are paying for it and it's very nice of them to have done this for me, I just wish that the timing was better. I'm going to have no down time what so ever after bootcamp.

7) I feel as though Technicolor Boy won't wait for me... he's going to find someone new. I'm going to come home to no one.

8) I can't be mad at him because he is dealing with much more intense shit right now. Ugh.

9) I feel bitchy and insensitive for being so selfish and snotty about all of this, but I AM FUCKING PISSED ABOUT HOW MY LIFE IS GOING TO CHANGE.

10) I don't know what we are, or what this is between us, but I just don't want it to end yet. Especially not like this... I can't have another Wsb-like short-lived summer romance. My heart just can't take it.

11) Fuck it, I'm gonna go work out.


Julia