A List of Frustrating Things

Precursory note: This is a short list, but my explanations are a wee bit lengthy. Bare with me, ok?

1) That everyone is trying to rearrange my priorities for me.

Hi, I'm a seventeen year old AP student with a 4.0 GPA who is currently attending three schools at once. I am a teenager who volunteers for a national paramilitary organization as well as a local legal partnership association. I'm a captain of my school's speech and debate team and am an officer in that same school's top-tier choir. I work about twenty hours a week at a fast food start-up. Oh, and I'm a lead in my upcoming school musical. I drive myself, pay for my own food, and get all of my homework done, and manage look damn sexy while doing all that. Do I fucking look like I don't know what I'm doing with my life?

According to my mother, apparently so. I have recently expressed interest in moving into and apartment with Lionboy and supporting myself for the duration of my senior year and however much of the summer I spend here before I go off to do the whole college thing. She thinks that I am prioritizing work over school.

Ok, first, I am not picking one over the other, I am simply balancing the two more evenly. Second, I think that my focusing on putting more money into my savings and pockets is not something that should be discouraged. My mother focused only on school, went to Harvard, and look where she is now: raising two kids in a tiny house in rural America, working an alright job with alright pay, and living the most un-fulfilling, unimportant life in history. Her set of priorities is not exactly pointing me towards what I think of as success.

2) That the people at my main high school this year are boring.

Much to my dismay, I am spending only the final period of every day at Hicktown High School. I mean, I'm there for debate practice and musical rehearsals, but that doesn't add too much time. I'm spending more time at Galactic, and though my classes are nice, my classmates just aren't. Philly is basically the only person that I talk to.

The problem is that literally all of my friends at GHS graduated in May, and everyone who is left are plain-vanilla preps. I find that disgustingly boring.

Everyone is completely clean-cut and wears exclusively American Eagle, Abercrombie, or Nike. The girls in my classes are constantly wearing the same outfits by accident and then spend the period secretly glaring at each other from across the room; it's a little sickening. And then there's me, with silver lilac hair, wearing clothing from thrift stores and foreign boutiques. Tack on the fact that my life includes more than varsity sports and gossip, and it's like I've landed here from another planet.

No one talks to me. Not like, in a social-outcast way, like, people are polite and stuff, but no one has made the effort to sit down and have a conversation with me about anything. Everyone is so content in their little bubbles of conformity that no one has made any effort at all to even introduce them self to me, and it's starting to make me wish that I would just take more classes at Hicktown next semester due to sheer boredom.

3) When people assume that I am an immature child.

Liz, this one goes out to you because your comment on my last post almost made me throw my laptop across the room. You should know that it's not you, personally, because I don't know you or have any beef with you, and I'm sure you're a very nice and intelligent person, but, babygirl, your comment forces me to assume the worst about your state of mind.

"I hope you at least learned something." Excuse me? Would you like to know what I learned? I learned how to puke quietly so that no one would suspect while I was getting morning sickness at school. I learned that the 0.001% chance of birth control failing can happen to those who don't deserve shit like that, because that happened to me. I learned that I am infinitely more mature than anyone else my age who has found them self in a similar situation.

I am a big girl and I did not learn how to be one from this little ordeal. So thank you, but kindly fuck off, you have no idea what I just went through.

4) My school musical.

Don't get me wrong, I thoroughly enjoy singing and acting and all of the shenanigans that come along with rehearsals, but this musical is a serious time-suck, and I don't have a lot of time to spare these days. Allow me to illustrate my daily schedule for all of you:
-wake up at the asscrack of dawn for school, skip breakfast due to lack of time
-go straight from school to school, skip lunch due to lack of time
-rehearsal, eat something out of the school vending machine
-go straight to work, skip dinner due to lack of time
-after working until closing time, return home to do homework, eat now if there is food in the house
-go to sleep for about five hours if lucky
-repeat until completely drained of will to live

Without rehearsals, I'll be able to work more hours per week, get my homework done at a reasonable time, and sleep enough to not feel constantly brain-damaged.

On that note, now that I have aired out my thoughts for the day, I'm going to get as much of my AP Psyche homework done as I can before I pass out from exhaustion.



Julia