Sigh.
I am pushing absolutely everyone away. At first, I thought that this was a bad thing, and I decided to try to surrender my spicy demeanor for the sake of salvaging friendships. I have been unsuccessful at holding my tongue. I simply cannot do it; if I have something to say, I will say it. If I am feeling particularly aggressive, woe be to those who annoy me in the slightest.
I have made two people cry this week and it is only Monday.
I am really getting bored with hearing about how I am (and I am quoting a very close friend here) a "heartless, emotionless bitch" and "intimidating" and "poisonous to be around"
This is not news to me. My dwindling viciousness has rejuvenated itself and returned tenfold. It is loud and pissed off. I don't really have the energy to try to hold it back anymore.
It's not like I'm proud to be this way, but this is how I am. I don't see any change on the horizon. I know that people generally cannot deal with this. Actually, nobody can deal with this. Nobody can handle the heat, so I'm left alone in the kitchen.
I am so ornately unhappy, and nobody can do a damn thing about it, myself included.
Julia
PS: Blogging hiatus starts now; it's for your own good.
Julia. Be bitchy, it's all good. You'll have nice days.
ReplyDeleteHopefully the bitchy wave has a crest coming soon (I know nothing about surfing). In the meantime I'll just watch passively on Facebook.
ReplyDelete^what Drew said.
ReplyDeleteBut sometimes feeling bitchy is just a necessity. Don't give it up for other people. Just upgrade to people with tougher skins.