Drunk-Watching

Oh lordy lord, 2 posts in one day? Unacceptable, we simply cannot tolerate this.
Too bad ;)

First!! Harry potter was fantastic!! They did such a good job with the conclusion!! Ahhh!
And I guess now would be a good time to let you all know that I went to go se the movie with Mwb.. but nothing happened! I wouldn't even hold his hand. I'm putting myself on a self-imposed boy diet for the rest of the month. No physical shenanigans, not even kissing. And this is to remind myself that there is more to that gender than anatomy and nymphomania. Plus, I really don't want to go down that road again with Mwb especially.

Second!! After the movie in Denver, I had to take the bus back to Boulder, where I was then stranded for about an hour on Pearl Street waiting for my father to come pick me up because I had missed the last bus back to Hicktown. For those new readers who don't know, Pearl Street is a magical place full of hippies and rainbows and good food. It's technically a pedestrian mall that takes up about 10 blocks. And interspersed amongst the stores are numerous bars, pubs, and restaurants that were very busy on this lovely Friday night.

All of these bars had outdoor patios, and drunk people were walking around on the mall barhopping, so basically Pearl Street turned into a drunk person fiesta. I kept getting hit on by 30 year olds, which I always love because it's flattering in a twisted, Lolita-esque way.

To bide my time during the hour I had to wait, I invented a hobby called Drunk-Watching. It's like bird-watching, but much more entertaining. The way it works is you park yourself on a bench in a high-traffic area and enjoy a few cigarettes while observing the many species of drunk people walking about. These are the species I've discovered so far:

Sluttious Inebrious- The Tipsy Sluts: These women were short skirts and high heels, talk loudly, and flirt with every man in sight, including hobos, janitors, scary looking possible rapists, and roving groups of fraternity brothers. Always travel in packs of three or more, when one is left behind she becomes whiny and may cry.

Philosophus Budweiseriam- The Beer Philosopher: This guy thinks that he can carry on a deep conversation after pounding 4-8 Buds. He can't, but he'll sure-as-Hell try.

Broski Fraternitae- The Frat Boy: Easily identified by a tool-bag hair cut, Ed Hardy or Polo t-shirt, flip-flops, or tendency to yell. He can handle a large amount of alcohol, but will most likely exceed his limits and proceed to start a fight, pick up the fat chick, or vomit/urinate publically. Will always travel in packs of four or more, and the more company one has, the louder he will be.

Unsexyium Obeseia- The Mondo Girl: This girl has a great... personality, despite possibly weighing a metric ton. She becomes overly confident when intoxicated and begins to flirt with her friends, regardless of gender. She may remove articles of clothing, dance, sing, or otherwise call attention to herself. She is the girl who becomes attractive after a few beers, but definitely won't be in the morning. Proceed with caution.

Creeperium Extremious- The Super Creepster: This man is over age 40, has extreme facial hair, gnarly teeth, is either homeless, sleazy, or massively overweight, and thinks that winking at passing women and calling them 'baby' is alluring. Keep your distance.

Bucketsium O'Funium- The Fun One: This man or woman has not yet become completely plastered, and has retained their wit, sense of humor, and excitement. They have the ability to hold their liquor and lead mostly-coherent conversations. Do not let this person have another drink!! They will rapidly turn into the final and most dangerous species observed:

Intoxicous Obliteratum- The Trashed Guy: He cannot stand up, walk, speak, or pee on his own. Occurs in females as well. He will slur his sentences, fall on people, and most likely cover his friends in some form of fluid bodily secretion by the end of the night. He's probably had enough to the point where he won't remember much in the morning, so catch him on film while you can.


Yeah. My hour of waiting for a ride was hilarious! And talking to these people was fantastic. Everyone had good vibes, and was friendly, and had funny shit to say. Fun times.

Hope you all had nice evenings,
Julia