Ignoring Flags

It's almost the new year.
What happened?

Alright, I'm going to try and keep this as coherent as possible, seeing as I'm blogging right after returning from a party. Be warned, there may be more typos than usual and a few of my sentences may not entirely make sense.

This party was the height of awkward. Allow me to elaborate:

I was walking up to the door and who steps outside for a smoke? Fsb. The little red flag went up in my brain instantly; I learned my lesson last time. I just smiled a walked past him, planning only to stay at the party for a little bit, and then leave as soon as any sign of drama arose.

I saw the red flag? I should not have ignored it. Why did I ignore it? If I hadn't have ignored it, I could have prevented the rest of the evening from happening.

To my surprise, the first part of the evening was almost completely drama-free and I was finally starting to relax. I was having a rather pleasant and completely pointless conversation with Fsb in the kitchen when the host mentioned that she had invited an old friend, and he was arriving then. We all knew who she was talking about. Fsb's fists clenched and he mentioned that he'd have to leave soon.

He started breathing slowly, but his face reddened slightly and I could see the tiniest bad of sweat roll down the side of his forehead. This is how a person looks when they are trying not show how incredibly angry they are.

Right then, who sauntered into the kitchen? Wsb. Wsb, the boy who I fell deep into a romantic involvement with not even six months ago, and the boy who, since he had been back in town, had been blowing me off non-stop. The boy who had sex with Fsb's on again/off again girlfriend, Qv, and catalyzed the entire drama that unfolded during the lat few weeks of summer. He had gotten a haircut, which I thought made him look stupid, and was wearing a leather jacket. Toolrific. Oh, and extremely, extremely awkward.

He passed by to go to the basement where a lot of people were playing beer pong and Fsb turned to me and we shared this gaze full of mutual disgust for the boy who had just walked by. It was like we were bonding.

Fsb left for a bit to mellow out. We all chilled down stairs and watched each other fail violently at beer pong. The party was just beginning to hit its stride when Fsb returned... with Qv. Let me further clarify:
Wsb, Fsb, Qv, and I were all in the same room.

You could cut the tension with a knife.

It had finally happened; the absolute worst possible situation was occurring.The entire love square thing was present, in close proximity to one another, and avoiding eye contact like the plague. SO. MOTHERFUCKING. AWKWARD.

Eventually, it just became too much and Wsb went upstairs and I went outside for a smoke. When I came back inside, I found out that Wsb had left. I breathed a sigh of relief. I spent a fair amount of time talking with Fsb and Qv. Qv's not a viciously bitchy as I remember her, and although I knew she still didn't like me, especially following the confrontation at the last party we saw each other at, she was surprisingly civil to me.

Fsb was all over her, but only when I was looking, so I knew he was just trying to make me jealous so that he could stir up more shit. EH. I have learned only to expect this sort of thing from him, besides, they are awfully cute together when she's not breaking his heart into millions of tiny pieces.

Eventually they left together [am I surprised?nahh]. The party continued and such. One of my friends got ridiculously drunk and I had to drive her home, then I came home because I didn't feel like going back.

And now I'm blogging because I'm still in shock that tonight even happened. It's like the stars aligned specifically so that I could have one of the most horrifically awkward and tense experiences of my life. Thanks, God. [You know, I think I'm still going to talk to God. He doesn't have to exist for me to talk to him, it'll be like having an imaginary friend...]

I.... I... I won't... I can't.... I can't handle it, bro.
I'm in awk-schock.
Julia